First off, let me just say this. Coming into this family, I never EVER imagined that EVER in my life with the Henricksons would I EVER need to dodge a bullet. Never! I guess we should’ve taken Bill a little more seriously when he said we were in lockdown.

Calling all investigators and reporters that read my blog to get dirt on my family and make us feel like second-class citizens! C’mon I know you’re out there. I know you read my stuff. Well, read this: Albert Grant is a maniac! First, like a coward, he hired someone to kill Don to no avail. He came after Bill. And Nicki. And then he killed the henchman he hired to kill Don. He’s such a damn loose cannon that he shot at ME, in a government building no less! HE'S the criminal here. NOT BILL. Not my husband! Thankfully he’s a poor shot because who knows where I’d be right now if it weren’t for that weak gun hand of his? I’m so glad he’s finally being put to justice after all these years. Now he’ll serve time for all the cruel things he has done throughout his bitter, effed-up life.

Okay! There’s a side of me we don’t see that often. Changing gears…

Aside from the incident on the Hill, lockdown has afforded us some wonderful quality time together. It kind of harks back to my Family Home Evening teachings. I’m really getting a chance to connect with all the kids. I’m tellin’ ya, they need us now more than ever. They need guidance. They need someone to help them cope with what might happen to Bill. I’m not sure how I feel yet about my babies growing up with an imprisoned father. (I still know it can’t happen. It just can’t.) But, in the meantime, the only thing I can do is make them feel comfortable in our homes. To take their mind off what COULD happen to our family, and remind them of those things that have kept us together and WILL keep us together no matter what happens: our undying faith, support, and love for one another.

What better way to reinforce our family’s strengths than through song? Teaching the kids some classic Bob Dylan was so much fun. While we were learning the lyrics of “Blowin’ in the Wind” they started really questioning the song’s meaning. For instance, after singing “How many seas must a white dove sail before she sleeps in the sand?” Lester asked why there was a dove in the song and Raymond told him it was a symbol for peace and equality. “How many years can a mountain exist before it’s washed out to sea?” was a bit tougher for them. They all took a minute to grasp this one, but we talked it through and soon they got the fact that nothing lasts forever and we mustn’t take what we have for granted. Even the tallest mountain will fall eventually.

I never exactly understood the chorus of the song or the title, so re-learning the song with them was eye-opening for me too. I realized the answers to all our questions, the resolutions to all our problems, the path to the Heavenly Kingdom – everything is so perfectly laid out in front of us, but most of the time we sadly fail to see it. If we just stop to look around and think about our surroundings every so often, we’d realize that all our answers, as good ol’ Bobby would put it, are blowin’ in the wind. Right under our noses!

Before I go, I just want to again thank those of you who have stuck by me through all this. After all that’s happened you’re still on our side, and that’s so incredibly reassuring. You make me so hopeful! I may have lost some readers and some friends along the way, but such a loss comes with claiming one’s true identity. I can get by without those people. I’ve learned that their negative energy will only drag me down. Keep your chin up and be thankful for the friends and loved ones you have, because who knows what tomorrow will bring?

The support you guys have given in recent months –your kind words and advice has all been so invaluable. Thank you for rooting for us. If it weren’t for you, Internet, I wouldn’t be where I am today.

I’m sticking by my family until the bitter end, whatever that end may be. It’s why Heavenly Father put me on this planet. So here’s to keeping my head high and working through whatever lies ahead.

Love always,
Margie

Each morning us Henricksons wake up and convene in Barb’s kitchen for breakfast. It’s a big family thing, and even though it happens on a daily basis it never loses its flare. Never. It always feels so special. The wives will get up a bit earlier to start prepping eggs and pancakes and toast and coffee (decaf, mind you), and then as the kids and Bill wake up they all trickle into the kitchen one by one. Some mornings we make a point to have everyone at the table, or at least in the same room at once. Those mornings are so nice. Other mornings everyone comes and goes as they please, grabs some food to go because they’re rushing to get somewhere. Either way, breakfast is a time when you’re always sure to see each and every family member’s face. And it’s always such a carefree time to shoot the breeze without worrying about what’s going on outside the houses. Well, aside from this morning, that is.

Everyone has their own favorite dish – their usual, or their “youjsh”. Haha! For instance, Benny will come into the kitchen and say “Morning, Margie. The youjsh please,” and I know that his usual is a half-dozen egg whites with cheddar and an English muffin. Teenie’s youjsh was always strawberry yogurt with granola and chocolate chips. Lester’s youjsh is Fruit Loops! Bill’s is usually an omelet with ham and cheese and onion. Over the years breakfast prep has just become second nature for me.

Today, with all that’s been going on lately, I figured I’d go out on a limb and try my hand at something different and special: breakfast frittatas. And to ensure that everyone in the fam is pleased, I made a bunch of different ones. Some are meatier than others, some have more veggies, I even made a tiny one with Fruit Loops for Lester! Sounds gross but that kid will eat anything if his favorite cereal is involved. So, I set my alarm super early, got up when it was still dark out, and started dicing up veggies. I just wanted everything to be ready and set out on the counter for when people started filing into the kitchen. You know, to surprise them with something different. At this point, we could all use ANYTHING to take our minds away from the harsh world outside these houses.

Well, it has been a pretty slow morning for breakfasttime at the Henrickons’. Barb came downstairs later than usual, grabbed a banana, made her tea, and retreated back up to her bedroom, all without a word. Ben and Cara Lynn did the same. The other kids are all so quiet. They were so cute sitting at the table eating their frittata, looking around at each other, wondering why Mother Margie was the only one prepping breakfast. They know something’s up. I mean, everyone’s coming after us. After ME. Those kids are smart and I’m sure they sense something.

Nicki won’t come out of her room. I’m sure she’s still chock-full of trauma from last night. I offered my night to her because I thought she’d need Bill to be there for her. Poor girl. I hope she’s gonna be alright.

You know? Just when it seems like everything is falling apart, things start to get better again. I just know it. It’s always been the case. This family always endures.

I don’t think anyone else is gonna show for breakfast, so I’m gonna head back to Barb’s to clean up and put those frittatas in the fridge. Looks like we’ll be eating those for a while! Ahh, cooking always makes me feel better during times like these. It’s a great therapeutic hobby of mine. Here, I’ll leave you with my recipe:

MARGIE’S CHIN-UP BREAKFAST FRITTATAS

These are sure to put a smile on your face!

2 tbsp olive oil
2 cups spinach, diced
1 cups zucchini, diced
1 cups yellow squash, diced
½ cup onion, diced
1 clove garlic, minced
6 eggs
¼ cup milk
¼ cup cream cheese
½ cup shredded cheddar cheese
Salt and pepper
Rosemary, rosemary, rosemary!

Preheat oven to 400°F and dice all the vegetables. Coat a large oven-safe skillet with olive oil and cook all the veggies and garlic on the stove for a few minutes. Season with salt, pepper, and as much rosemary as you’d like. (I LOVE rosemary… never can have too much.) In a large bowl, beat together the eggs, milk, cream cheese, and cheddar until smooth. Add everything to the skillet of veggies and mix thoroughly. Once the eggs have firmed up a bit (don’t cook them completely), remove skillet from stove and put in oven for 8-10 minutes or until it browns a bit. Let cool for a minute and voila! A delicious breakfast for the whole family.

xo,
Margie

 You can read a copy of the The Family Home Evening guide.

Just sitting here with a hot cup of cocoa, thinking about things.

Still listening to Christmas music. I just love it, could listen to it year-round. Right now it’s James Taylor’s album, “On Christmas”. So warm and so soothing. When I was little Mom would play “Fire and Rain” for me as I was falling asleep. His voice will always remind me of when everything was so easy and laid out in front of me. A time when I didn’t have much to worry about at all. Things aren’t like that anymore.

I like to put cinnamon in the bottom of the mug so that when you pour the cocoa it all mixes together and smells delicious. Then I put not only marshmallows on top, but whipped cream too. Sometimes I’ll maybe top it off with a sprig of mint to make it look pretty.

Christmas is the best time of year. It may be cold and snowy outside but there’s always a fire burning and plenty of love in our homes. There’s always warm conversation and cuddling under blankets and laughs and stories and memories. There’s always all those things! But things aren’t the same this year.

This is our first Christmas in the light. It can only get better from here, right?

Once the mug is half empty, I always add more marshmallows. Can never get enough marshmallows. They get all melty and gooey and they mix in with the chocolate to create such hot tasty goodness. Warms your whole body going down.

Coming home from the shelter and seeing Barb… like that. Sitting in the dark eating plum pudding straight from the can. That stuff can really get a hold of you, and I don’t mean the pudding. She’s wavering but I know that deep down she just wants to do what’s right for our family. If I could just pull her aside and talk about what that stuff did to my mother, how it led her careening right into a ditch. If only Barb would talk to me. I’ve always found solace in her, especially when I was sealed into this new life with her and the others. And now this silent treatment is killing me. Well, maybe she’s not the only one wavering.

Every family has its down year, right? The year when Christmas just doesn’t measure up to others? When you yearn to feel something from last year or the year before or the year before that? Feelings that have come and gone? Right?

The kids are watching “The Christmas Toy” in the other room. Ever seen it? Cute movie. It’s about a group of toys that were given as gifts in years past, and each year at Christmas there’s a brand new toy that comes along and becomes the favorite. One of the older toys, Rugby the Tiger, can’t stand the idea of not being the favorite anymore so he tries to re-gift himself to no avail. The evil new toy Meteora Queen of the Asteroids becomes the new favorite, but the toys soon realize that they’re still loved all the same. It’s fun and it’s stupid, but at least the message is clear.

Okay I’m gonna take my tasty cocoa and join them. Bed early tonight. I need it.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

I’ll start with a fun question. What is your favorite song/band? A lot of my music library was built off of my mother’s. She had a lot of great classics like Janis Joplin, Fleetwood Mac, Bob Dylan, The Band, and then some 80s stuff like Human League, Depeche Mode, Duran Duran, etc. Then there’s my favorites from when I was growing up: Heart, The Cranberries, Jewel, and let’s not forget the great Pat Benatar. You asked about “THE” song? The one song that gets me going and makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside? “We Belong” by Pat Benatar. Hands down. Love it!

Isn’t there anyone in Utah that supports you all in public? Short answer: no. Longer answer: yes, maybe, I don’t know, eventually. I know there’s people like our neighbors Pam and Carl that will stick by us through thick and thin. They’re always so nice and supportive. People are scared to support us publicly, especially up on the Hill where Bill works now. He is really on his own up there. I think once people see that we all love one another and operate just like any other “normal” family we will begin to see a little more support. Our dinner with that Midge lady and her crazy anti-porn mother was a step in the right direction. There’s a chance she could be Bill’s first ally on the hill.

What are you going to do about Ana and Goran? Ana is carrying Bill’s child. He loves her and he loves that little boy with all his heart. Goran is going to help raise that child, so Bill definitely has plenty of love and respect towards him for that. We all do love each other, and it’s very complicated, but they have to leave the country. I’ve come to accept that it is only right. Ana wanted me to leave my family behind and come with them, but I could never do such a thing. I cried as Bill blessed their child not only because Ana and Goran were leaving… no, it wasn’t just that. Seeing Bill bless that baby? Seeing him put all the love he has into something he created and now must send away? I could see how much it truly hurt him deep inside. Later on that night I peered in on him bathing little baby Nell, singing to her. Moments like these remind me why I was drawn to him in the first place.

Do you still have feelings for Goran? No. Is Goran a sexy Serbian man who gave me comfort when my family was going off the tracks? Yes. But nothing ever happened between us and nothing ever will.

Do you and Bill still have your nights together? Yes, we do, and they are wonderful!

Do you feel resentment towards Bill for causing you to lose your career? I don’t. Hearts On A Sleeve was a great experience. For a while there I was making a good deal of money, and I guess you could’ve called me quite the independent woman. From VSN I learned the ins and outs of the business world and, above all, how to market myself. I now have the tools to begin something new, maybe even start up my own business, and this GojiBlast stuff seems to be a solid stepping stone to help regain my footing.

Do you forgive Beverly? Girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. Yes, I forgive her, and I respect her for making the decision. Doesn’t mean I’m not mad about it. In the grand scheme of things, I did something wrong. I lied. Life goes on. 

If you could take the family in a different direction, what would it be?  I believe that we are moving in the right direction. When I came into this family, when I left the trailer park, I had nothing. Didn’t have much faith either. I’ve grown a lot since then, and my faith in the Principle has gotten much stronger. Bill has already made more progress than anyone since our lifestyle was banned, and I’m proud to stand beside him. If I could take the fam in a different direction for, say, one month? Big family trip to Europe! Climb the Eiffel tower, see the Berlin Wall, sunbathe on the coast of the Mediterranean…  that would be amazing.

Why don’t you just leave Bill? Bill has given me everything! He’s given me a loving family. He’s given me two wives and their undying support. He’s given me all the love in the world and he continues to give and give day in and day out. When I came into this family it was LOVE that kept me here. I had never experienced love like the way Bill and Barb and Nicki and all the kids love me, not even from my mother. This family is bursting and boiling over with love! And yes, we have our problems, our jealousies, and our own little secrets, and we may want to strangle each other at times, but we’re a family. That’s how families work. All our differences stem from our intense love and desperation to keep the family moving forward in one piece.

Somebody wrote that my faith in God should give me the strength to leave Bill, but I couldn’t disagree more. My faith in God gives me the strength to STAY. To work through the problems that would normally tear us apart; those instances only make us stronger. Faith gives me the strength to accept the fact that Ana and Goran – two of my truest friends – need to leave the country not only for our sake, but for theirs, and the baby’s too. Faith gives me the strength to take Bill’s and Barb’s and Nicki’s hands on the steps of the capitol and declare our true selves to the world. Faith pulls families together; it doesn’t tear them apart. It will not tear us apart. Gosh, thanks for asking that question. It was very enlightening to think that through!

Well I hope these answers are informative for you guys. It’s always very helpful for ME talking about this stuff. I’m slowly but surely getting a grip on our situation, and the more I think about it, the more I talk about it, the more I realize that I’m in the right place.

Talk to you again soon.

xo,

Margie