« GOODBYE, INTERNET | Made to order »

Locked Down


First off, let me just say this. Coming into this family, I never EVER imagined that EVER in my life with the Henricksons would I EVER need to dodge a bullet. Never! I guess we should’ve taken Bill a little more seriously when he said we were in lockdown.

Calling all investigators and reporters that read my blog to get dirt on my family and make us feel like second-class citizens! C’mon I know you’re out there. I know you read my stuff. Well, read this: Albert Grant is a maniac! First, like a coward, he hired someone to kill Don to no avail. He came after Bill. And Nicki. And then he killed the henchman he hired to kill Don. He’s such a damn loose cannon that he shot at ME, in a government building no less! HE'S the criminal here. NOT BILL. Not my husband! Thankfully he’s a poor shot because who knows where I’d be right now if it weren’t for that weak gun hand of his? I’m so glad he’s finally being put to justice after all these years. Now he’ll serve time for all the cruel things he has done throughout his bitter, effed-up life.

Okay! There’s a side of me we don’t see that often. Changing gears…

Aside from the incident on the Hill, lockdown has afforded us some wonderful quality time together. It kind of harks back to my Family Home Evening teachings. I’m really getting a chance to connect with all the kids. I’m tellin’ ya, they need us now more than ever. They need guidance. They need someone to help them cope with what might happen to Bill. I’m not sure how I feel yet about my babies growing up with an imprisoned father. (I still know it can’t happen. It just can’t.) But, in the meantime, the only thing I can do is make them feel comfortable in our homes. To take their mind off what COULD happen to our family, and remind them of those things that have kept us together and WILL keep us together no matter what happens: our undying faith, support, and love for one another.

What better way to reinforce our family’s strengths than through song? Teaching the kids some classic Bob Dylan was so much fun. While we were learning the lyrics of “Blowin’ in the Wind” they started really questioning the song’s meaning. For instance, after singing “How many seas must a white dove sail before she sleeps in the sand?” Lester asked why there was a dove in the song and Raymond told him it was a symbol for peace and equality. “How many years can a mountain exist before it’s washed out to sea?” was a bit tougher for them. They all took a minute to grasp this one, but we talked it through and soon they got the fact that nothing lasts forever and we mustn’t take what we have for granted. Even the tallest mountain will fall eventually.

I never exactly understood the chorus of the song or the title, so re-learning the song with them was eye-opening for me too. I realized the answers to all our questions, the resolutions to all our problems, the path to the Heavenly Kingdom – everything is so perfectly laid out in front of us, but most of the time we sadly fail to see it. If we just stop to look around and think about our surroundings every so often, we’d realize that all our answers, as good ol’ Bobby would put it, are blowin’ in the wind. Right under our noses!

Before I go, I just want to again thank those of you who have stuck by me through all this. After all that’s happened you’re still on our side, and that’s so incredibly reassuring. You make me so hopeful! I may have lost some readers and some friends along the way, but such a loss comes with claiming one’s true identity. I can get by without those people. I’ve learned that their negative energy will only drag me down. Keep your chin up and be thankful for the friends and loved ones you have, because who knows what tomorrow will bring?

The support you guys have given in recent months –your kind words and advice has all been so invaluable. Thank you for rooting for us. If it weren’t for you, Internet, I wouldn’t be where I am today.

I’m sticking by my family until the bitter end, whatever that end may be. It’s why Heavenly Father put me on this planet. So here’s to keeping my head high and working through whatever lies ahead.

Love always,


Reader Comments (63)


I like your character and reading your blog, I get good insight in to the show. I wish they were not taking the show off the air. I am so glad they are taking down that compound before the show ends. I will miss all of the people of your family. While I do not believe in plural marriage, I think you are the sweeties of them all, and at least the Bill in your story, is firmly committed to his family and supporting them. So many men just make babies, walk away, marry someone else and do it again.
March 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEllenDee
Dear Margie,
I am going to miss you and the Henricksons so much, it's beyond imagination. I have always had a fascination with the fundamental LDS religion and have come to love you and the family. I have to say that this season has shown you mature by leaps and bounds and that family is so lucky to have you.


PS - As Ginnifer, I think you're great, too. :-)
March 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSarah
i trully am going to cry an miss this show and all of it's people. you have become like a part of my family. the day to day goings on in your world is so hard not to get caught up in. margene has always been my favorite one of all. she has love in her heart that just shines thru. and to see a character like that on tv now is a miracle. i know that what ever you do next will be amazing . it has been a wonderful time watching all of you on sunday night. god bless and write soon. donna
March 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdonna
my wife and I have really enjoyed this series ...well done to all though, I hope one day after the end of days there is a day of born again ...and we see more of our Big Love friends in a movie one day.

March 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKen Foxx
"Keep your chin up and be thankful for the friends and loved ones you have, because who knows what tomorrow will bring?"

So true......My daughter was killed in an auto accident in May 2010.

We will miss you and your family. It seems funny to be heartbroken over a TV family. But I am. I will miss you all. My daughter and I had so much fun watching and talking about this show. Thanks for all the great memories of watching Big Love with my daughter. We even got my 68 year old Dad watching Big Love. He said Big Love is better than Dallas and Falcon Crest

Big Love to all
March 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMeme
I, too, will greatly miss your show on Sunday nights. I have been watching from the beginning, and although I never knew anything about plural marriage prior to watching the show, I have developed a real compassion for the families out there, that are like your TV family. You are my favorite character, and will be greatly missed. Good luck with your future endeavors, and I look forward to seeing you in another great show or movie soon.
March 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNicole
This show has been something to look forward to every Sunday and I will miss it intensely. I enjoyed learning about plural marriage. We have several Amish in our area, and there were several parallels in the way they live and the people at the compound. I have enjoyed this so much! With a disabled hubby, our major source of entertainment is TV and we will so miss you! The character of Margene is a joy and delight!
Shelley Rose
March 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterShelley Rose
I am so sad that this show will come to the end next Sunday evening. The cast is wonderful. Story line well thought out. This show has been my favorite of any show that I have ever seen and I waited each week to see what would happen next. This blob has shown us the writers, I would love to be contacted with a list of other TV and or movies that they had any part of. I will miss you miss you. Thank you HBO for putting this on television. WJD
March 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWanda J. Divita
I love you, Margie!!
March 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJami
I want to say thank you to you Margene for being a wonderful, loving character. I fell in love with Big Love from episode one, and you especially. I wish you love and all the best in the future, along with the other cast members. I also want to say thanks for being a decent show that teaches family values. That's rare today. Hopefully someday they'll bring Big Love back and I'll be one of the first to say Hooray!!! God Bless and Best Wishes!
March 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLinda
Big Love would have been a lot less loving without Margene! The entire show from the very first episode captivated. I know that all good things must come to an end but this one is hard to take. Every other comment above is so right - but the thing that makes it so hard is that truth is found in so many ways with every episode. No marriage is easy. Forgiveness is a key to any relationship and in the end the two things that matter most are love and service to others - and Big Love has reminded us of that in the context of family on every show. We will miss you and Sunday night will much lonelier without the Henricksons. Can't wait to see your next project.

Peace and Thank You!
March 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGeri
Marge I love all the Hendericksons. Its very sad to see all of you leave tv.
I'm not ready for it to end! I love this show!!!
March 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCecelia
Dear Margene,
Thank you for an absolutely wonderful last 5 years. I will miss you and your family very much. Would it be possible to keep up on your blog and keep everyone posted on how you and your family are doing? Maybe a movie?
I just don't want it to end!
One thing that came to me recently is that we all long for extensions to our small families in many ways. It really would be a better world if all parts of life like work, play, family, religion and yes even government could provide brotherly or sisterly connections. That would be after all an extension of our ancestral extended family "the tribe".

And yes, song is so important. I've joined a song circle recently. Singing shared songs is great! Good luck in the future!
March 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRich
This show has meant so much to me over the years, it has helped me see who and what I wanted to be.. I will miss every single part and person in it.. thanks to HBO and the creators of the show for bringing this to be. And Margene/Ginnifer, I will miss your blogs very much.
March 15, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjenne
I literally sat and said "no no no no no" to myself when it happened.
I love your personality. You are what I imagine myself to be in my marriage.
And, if I was nearly as strong as you, as loving and open as you, I too could make it in polygamy.

I know that next week will be the last blog.
But, to the writers: Thank you for the best, most heart-opening show/experience of my life.
These women have formed a part of me, and everything I do, every day, I can laugh and see as a "Barb-Moment" a "Nicki-Moment"(rare) or a "Margie-Moment." Hell, even an "Ana-Moment"

I will mourn the days when I will no longer have Margene on my internets here.

I love you guys dearly, and I have been commenting on your blog from the day it came online. (either as Beth, Beffy or Abbabeffy) and, if anything special will come forth from this, I'd love to know.

I'm your biggest, most heartfelt fan.
I hope you won't forget me, I'll never, ever forget you. <3
(Think of me when you hear an ABBA song, I think of you when I hear "Take Your Momma Out")

March 15, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterabbabeffy
All relationships end.

Whether it's by choice, death or some other reason. But they all end. Always.

And like your friends you used to know so well in school or the co-workers in the office you left behind, your life still goes on without them. And so do theirs without you.

Lives lived apart now, where they were once intertwined.

So it goes.
March 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMary
I love Big Love, have watched every episode, never miss it, I will miss Margie the most, polygamy is fascinating, the show never gets old to me. I enjoy reading your blog also. Hope to see all of you in other things, TV and/or movies. Keep up the great work. I love you as Ginnifer also.
March 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJill
Margene {Ginnifer}, U r a wonderful actress. This character,in particular. Margene HOLDS this family together,even though it seems as if ur story line is tearing the Henrickson's apart. I REALLLLLLLLLLY wish this was NOT the last season. I have watched and been glued 2 it,since day 1. To u all,on the cast of 'Big Love' <3 ur series,Please don't wait 2 long 4 a reunion, I will b watching!!!!! Rita
March 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRita
Your character is magnificent. Although I can understand that it is time to say good-bye to a great show, it's heartbreaking to see the storyline end. If at all else it's taught so many the values and strengths of plural marriages and that each one can love someone. The whole Hendrickson family is going to be missed deeply.
March 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLK
the most underrated, well acted shows of all time.
March 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBOB
I am ssooo sad to see the show end!!!!
March 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmara
I have been watching for going on five years now. You have grown so much, what I dig about you is your energy and positive character that even in the face of horrible things, you confront them and are strong and always vibrant and hopeful. I just don 't understand how others around you in the family cannot feel a radiance or radiant feeling from just being around you. I love watching the show because not only when I Have had my own pitfalls in life, they seem so small compared to what your family is going through, and you are always bring and uplifting. Keep it up Margene. Wishing you the best in this life and the other one. .
March 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMichael
Big Love CAN'T stop now! The thing I love about the Hendricksons and the show is that I can go from laughter (Ben, Heather, Rhonda scene "I can take care of BOTH of you") to shock (anything with Alby), disbelief and dissapointment (Bill's dogmatism) to empathy (for Barb's heartfelt desire to have her own sense of self and place in the world) to sadness (for CaraLynn having to put up with Nicky's psycho-bulls&*t). It is an amazing production.
March 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLiz in Boston
Comments for this entry have been disabled. Additional comments may not be added to this entry at this time.