Monday, February 21, 2011 at 8:49AM
I’ve been so busy lately. So, so busy. Good busy. And it feels very – what’s the right word for this? – centering. Putting my mind and my heart into a good cause like this rally makes me feel like I’m on top of the world. Getting our name and our lifestyle out there in the public eye gives me so much hope for this family. I helped create such a positive, NORMAL image for us. Finally, FINALLY, the world is beginning to see us for who we really are.
Bill has been so supportive through the whole process. It’s great that we’re finally seeing eye-to-eye on something. You know, ever since Christmas when I – well, you know the story – ever since then, he’s been pretty cold to me. And yes, I totally understand why, I do. I get it now. Having him support me during this, knowing that he has my back again, seeing the pride in his eyes when we talk about the rally… it all feels so good. What better way to bring us back together than children rallying for our cause?
It was unbelievable having Benny involved. He’s always there for me. And Cara Lynn was right there by my side through the whole thing too. Cara Lynn, that girl, she is really coming into her own. She has evolved so much since entering the family. Sometimes I feel like she and I are toooootally on the same page. She is so smart and so caring and she just GETS me. In an odd way I see myself in her. Gosh, to think of me at her age? I was so lost then, and the last thing I want is for her to be in my shoes. If Barb and Bill’s divorce (ugh, that word!) is in fact solely for her well-being, then, well, I support it.
The rally was a great success. Hey, you might even be seeing my pretty face on the news! I gave a press speech about how much I love the Principle, how I’m proud of the fact that my children have the opportunity to grow up in a household with so much love.
I remember my dream the night before the event clearly. It started just before I went to the podium to make my speech. I looked down at my flash cards to review my talking points, but there weren’t any words. The first card was a black and white wedding picture of a man and woman I didn’t recognize. I flipped to the next card and there was another couple. And then another. Then there was a man and two women. And then there was a picture of just two men in wedding garb, then three men with no wives, and after that three women with no husband. After flipping frantically through the flash cards I came to the four of us – Bill, Barb, Nicki, and me. Suddenly I heard a familiar voice. “Mrs. Henrickson?
We’re ready for your speech.” It was Mom. She was reaching out for my hand, ready to lead me to the podium. Her hand was cold and hard, but her eyes were vibrant, excited, full of life. When she let go of my hand, I took a moment to look out at my audience. My, was there ever an audience! People as far as the eye could see. And they were all happy, accepting, holding signs showing their support for my cause.
But then when I opened my mouth to begin the speech, nothing came out. I tried forcing myself so hard to speak but I couldn’t. I was speechless. That’s when I woke up.
Well even though the dream was discouraging, I really nailed my speech. Like, I tore it up, y’all. I feel so proud of what I’ve done, so accomplished. We’re really making some good progress in the trenches. We just all have to stick together. As long as we stick together, we’ll be able to show this world what we’re really made of.