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But Once A Year


Just sitting here with a hot cup of cocoa, thinking about things.

Still listening to Christmas music. I just love it, could listen to it year-round. Right now it’s James Taylor’s album, “On Christmas”. So warm and so soothing. When I was little Mom would play “Fire and Rain” for me as I was falling asleep. His voice will always remind me of when everything was so easy and laid out in front of me. A time when I didn’t have much to worry about at all. Things aren’t like that anymore.

I like to put cinnamon in the bottom of the mug so that when you pour the cocoa it all mixes together and smells delicious. Then I put not only marshmallows on top, but whipped cream too. Sometimes I’ll maybe top it off with a sprig of mint to make it look pretty.

Christmas is the best time of year. It may be cold and snowy outside but there’s always a fire burning and plenty of love in our homes. There’s always warm conversation and cuddling under blankets and laughs and stories and memories. There’s always all those things! But things aren’t the same this year.

This is our first Christmas in the light. It can only get better from here, right?

Once the mug is half empty, I always add more marshmallows. Can never get enough marshmallows. They get all melty and gooey and they mix in with the chocolate to create such hot tasty goodness. Warms your whole body going down.

Coming home from the shelter and seeing Barb… like that. Sitting in the dark eating plum pudding straight from the can. That stuff can really get a hold of you, and I don’t mean the pudding. She’s wavering but I know that deep down she just wants to do what’s right for our family. If I could just pull her aside and talk about what that stuff did to my mother, how it led her careening right into a ditch. If only Barb would talk to me. I’ve always found solace in her, especially when I was sealed into this new life with her and the others. And now this silent treatment is killing me. Well, maybe she’s not the only one wavering.

Every family has its down year, right? The year when Christmas just doesn’t measure up to others? When you yearn to feel something from last year or the year before or the year before that? Feelings that have come and gone? Right?

The kids are watching “The Christmas Toy” in the other room. Ever seen it? Cute movie. It’s about a group of toys that were given as gifts in years past, and each year at Christmas there’s a brand new toy that comes along and becomes the favorite. One of the older toys, Rugby the Tiger, can’t stand the idea of not being the favorite anymore so he tries to re-gift himself to no avail. The evil new toy Meteora Queen of the Asteroids becomes the new favorite, but the toys soon realize that they’re still loved all the same. It’s fun and it’s stupid, but at least the message is clear.

Okay I’m gonna take my tasty cocoa and join them. Bed early tonight. I need it.


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Reader Comments (56)

Margene, beautiful entry and the show last night was memorable. Your family will endure.
January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnnie Mack
Margie, you are wasting your youth and beauty in this freakshow "marriage". Wake up and get out of it before it's too late.
January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterShirley
You both know this is fictional? I mean really talking to a person who is just a character in a show???
January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLouise
Margene, you really appear to be unhappy. Bill has given you the okay to leave and find happiness. If you do not want to leave your marriage that is fine too, but please find some happiness before you have a nervous breakdown.
January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterShahida
You all do realize that this is make-believe and Margene doesn't really exist nor does she write a blog....right?
January 31, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterlol
I heart Heather. Please blog about her sometime!
January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle
Why do people who come on here and post about this being fictional act like they have just revealed something so amazing and mind-blowing that nobody else figured out? *I'm looking @ you, Louise*

Yes, we all know it's a fake character/blog. It just adds to the fan aspect of the show and provides a way for people to feel like they are participating and/or expressing their opinions about what is happening in the show. That's all.
January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterShirley
I just want to know what is that lard based plum pudding with no fruit in it all about? Lard? really?
January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSGH
This season Margene's character seems to cry alot and its very sad to watch anymore.
January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChar
Marge Honey,

I just knew that you were acting younger than 23 when you phoned me and told me that you were my sister-in-law. I have another question for you. Exactly how old are you now anyway? How did that Nikki get away with using your identity for her job considering your true age? Well, she is really attractive and young-looking...Don't you realize how easy it is to look up anyones age on the internet nowadays? All you have to do is type someone's name into a people search engine...

Oh no! I just heard something fall and break in Kim Lee's room. I promised her that she could watch Halloweentown and Twitches tonight Oh that Carol Hoag and Patrick Fabian are so talented and underrated.


Cindy from Sandy
(fictional comment posted by fan--not an actor.)
January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCindy from Sandy
Where is Teenie?
January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCarol
Where is Teenie? Even if she is away at school; she would be home for Christmas.
January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCarol
BIl and Barb sent Teeny to live with Sarah in the aftermath of the election, so that she wouldn't be affected.... I think the writers did that because there were so many fans who didn't like the "new" Teeny?
January 31, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterno one
Teeny has been sold as a wife to the prophet of a fringe compound in Belize.Bill needed the money for his campaign. Barb didn't object because Bill told her Teeny was going on a Morman Outward Bound type mission where she would be traveling by zip lines so therefore unable to be in communication with the family. When Barb sobors up she will notice that Teeny has been gone too long, but it will be too late. Nikki will spearhead Teeny's rescue and reintegration. I hope it will require one more season because I am addicted.
January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTeresa
When is something bad gonna happen to the bitch nikki? I hope alby or wanda or someone takes nikki out. how can you stand being married to that evil, heartless, soulless bitch??
January 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJulia

I would have to agree with Barb's sister. It is so easy to verify anyone's age through a search engine. Bill knew it already. Or he did not want to know the truth about you.

February 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSho
This is the first time I've posted Margene, after watching the show and your confession last night, I just had to. I know that everyone is giving you the cold shoulder right now, but the age of consent thing doesn't really matter. Your mother was the consenting adult of you then and let you get married. So it isn't all your fault. It shouldn't really matter now, after so many years of being with the family. Nikki has caused most of the problems in the family, and like the post below mine, is a heartless bitch!
February 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLori
Am i the only guy who likes that show?
February 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMichel
Nice....was cool to get in depth. but i didnt understanding the commenting and even more so the bashng of the commenting. I almost forgot is was a show reading it lol and I just downloaded this James Taylor.
February 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterZo
Margene, things will work out for you. Bill loves you dearly and nothing will ever change that! I don't think you should ever consider splitting from the family. No matter how rough it gets, esp how rough it might get, they need you!!
February 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commenter'Nita Marie Ring
Hi Marlene one big hug from Rome Italy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
February 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLiz Roma
Don't worry, Margene. It's not your fault - I mean, you were a kid, desparate to get out of that awful situation with your Mom. But if you can see a way, financially to get out of that marriage- I say run like Hell!
February 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmyB
The fact that no one caught her age, doesn't hold any water. What about when Peg Embry hired her at Home Plus? What about when Nikki used her DL for an id?

Oh well it's in the story line now, so we'll go with it.

Why bring it up to the world? The Family should just keep the secret...oh wait Barb isn't good at that since she like to take family info and destroy Bill with it.
February 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy
i love the show i have watched it from the very first show.... but this season is different wheres the chase the bad guys.. all they talk about is bills office. dont get me wrong i wont miss any shows but i think its different. people talk about nikki and say she is a bitch but she makes the show good people watch shows for that reason they awlays dislike the bad guy but thats why they watch. good job to the writers.
February 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterkaren
michel my husband loves the show two!!!
February 1, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterkaren

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